Happy Lesbian Visibility Day 2019

[Falling in love in slow motion to over-the-top montages with equally overboarding soundtracks: it’s not just for straights any longer. – Sonam Kapoor (Sweety), Regina Cassandra (Kuhu), in “Ek Ladki Ko Dekha Toh Aisa Laga”, 2019]

…

Actually, I was in the middle about a lengthy Brangäne post for today, but then  this bit of Bollywood came across my dashboard and “running through exaggerated scenery in elaborate dresses while singing *a lot* about falling in love” is operatic enough in my book to count for LVD footage on here. Bonus: there are no dead sopranos (and bereft mezzos) at the end of this, either.

So a non-western rom-com full of classic genre tropes (including angst and happy ending) and starring kids half my age is my 2019 lens to think about visibility, and the agency that comes with representation.

I’m very lucky that, by now, I smoothly correct other people who ask about what my husband does with “my wife does…” – something which for long years, I didn’t dare to do and, later, did only stutteringly. These days, I don’t even have to think about it. The ones stuttering are usually the people I talk to, and I get to be amused and (mostly) gracious about it.
This scene only works (and it works a few times a month, unfailingly, as I travel a lot for my new job and get to correct a lot of new people who make small talk with me) because I live in a setting where my wife actually is that: legally my wife.
That scenario was still unthinkable when I came out, way back when, but here I am: very lucky (also because of the particular wife in question).  And I don’t think I would be at this point without positive representation.

For me, opera was crucial to be able to name things (it still is. It is crucial to me for a lot of reasons). For my sprawling family of in-laws (I don’t think the amount of cousins and aunts I acquired through marriage is quite at Bollywood level, but still) , it was TV – and movies, like this one.

It just struck me again today what a powerful thing that is. And how lucky I am in getting to be visible without big repercussions. Here’s to that chance being granted to more people, and not just today.